Off Color Jokes, Bad Puns and Idiocy

Posting Some Of The Funniest Sayings On The Jay Zippo Channel on Youtube

I take some liberties and I enhance the interaction. Enjoy my idiocy.

Tara Dikoff

Tara: Proof is in the pudding.

Piper: What does that even mean anyways?

Tara: Not sure, but you can be pudding that tongue anywhere you like too.

Piper: *blink blink blink*


Piper: Better in our hands anyways

Tara: Very true. If it’s in your hands, you might want to wash your hands after that though.

*Piper, raises an eyebrow – wat?*

Tara: You’ll have cats trying to lick your fingers…

*Piper shakes head slowly, look of disappointment on her face*


Mayor Hancock: I need to take a walk again. Get a grip on what really matters…

Tara: Well you’re a ghoul, you can’t grip on what really matters… you would probably pull it off.

*Zippo cringe face – ouch*


Tara: That sucked some baaaallllls

* Piper runs across a roof and disappears *

Tara: Whoa Piper, where did you go?

*Piper reappears 5 feet from Tara *

Tara: You just disappeared! You were like, titties on a hot tin roof!


Tara: (Talking to herself) We traveled the entire coastline of Far Harbor…

Tara: Hmm. I guess we gave the island a rim-job.


Piper: I don’t think we will make pretty looking ghouls.

Tara: I don’t know, even as a ghoul I would lick you. I just hope your labia doesn’t come off, that would be disgusting.


Piper: Way to hold your own blue.

Tara: Yeah, I hold them both and squeeze the nipples once in a while too.


After the 5th time Billy the boy ghoul screams and runs away
Tara: Billy man, you really have to grow some balls. I know your balls were probably radiated off, but you have to find a way to grow them back, ok?

Billy: (WTF?)


At the Atom Cat’s place after a battle
Tara: I always lose where the bodies are… oh peepers! (The bot from the Atom Cats)

Tara: Peepers is down.. oh no. Maybe you can get some Viagara and get your peepers up!


Piper walks into Mayor Hancock a few times

Tara: Hey, piper, get off of Hancock, you are going to make him want to… well, Hancock.


Tara: (talking to herself) Novice Lock? I eat novice locks for breakfast.

* Bobby Pin Breaks *

Tara: Ok, they are a little chewy… kind of like your mom’s labia.


*sneaking around a building*

Tara: Piper, please don’t come through the back-end… errr…hehhheh

Tara: I mean, you can but I did just have Yum Yum Deviled Eggs, so you might want to take caution… I mean I found a Gasmask on a Raider back there I am sure that will help.


*Shooting a bear in the head*

Tara: OHHHH Just took a little off the top.

*Killing the bear with a shot in the head*

Tara: Just call me BAYER (bear) Aspirin, because he no longer has a headache… or a head.


* found 2 Jets *

Tara: Yes, more Jet! We can get really f*cked up.

* picks up Jet *

Tara: F*ck bojangles, fire up a few Jets and we can get Momma Murphy and she can shoot dust out her wahoo.


Tara: Dogmeat will you get the hell out of my way before I shove this gun up your ass.

Dogmeat: * whine *

Tara: You will be eating kibbles and bits through your butthole for a week!


*walks into room and finds a Mole Rat, dead, head first in a hole*

Tara: Oh look, its presenting. It’s like the blow up doll for the Mole Rat Community…


* Shoots Raider in the ass with a Sniper Rifle *

Tara: I just gave her an enema… the Bullet Enema… and the flavor was LEAD BABY….

Piper: * Silence *

Tara: Come on that was good… ok it wasn’t give me a break.

Ginger Snaps

Ginger finishes killing a dragon…

GINGER: ohhh yeah… feel that soul. I am like the tampon of dragon souls.


Forge Lady: Are you looking for protection or deal some damage?

Ginger: I want to deal some damage… to your puussyyy…. I wanna crush it.


*sinks her blade into the enemy*

Ginger: Eat my b..b…blade… or eat… eat… something, just don’t eat me… leave that too Arissa.

Svana Titanborn

Svana: I smell a trap!

NPC: It might be a trap!

Svana: Unless that is your panties… * choking sound *


Svana: F*uck me in the goat ass.

Totes McGoats: * BAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *

Svana: Oh no, don’t f*ck me in the goat ass, or… don’t f*ck totes in the ass…

Svana: Just don’t f*ck anyone in the goat ass, ok?


NPC: Blow his great horn.

Svana: I am not blowing no one… and if I find out this orcs wiener is called the “Great Horn” I’m coming back here and kicking your ass!


NPC: I do not dismiss rumors out of hand, whether there is an actual library or it could be or a fiery pit of Daedra.

Svana: I hope that is not a code for your vagina.


NPC: The guards will let you come and go…

Svana: Jebus, is this common knowledge, it’s like I have a GoPro on my vagina.


Svana: How much dump is enough dump Toats?

Toats: BAHHHH

Svana: How much dump is a dump dump dump is a dump dump dump dump dump…


Argonian that was saved: Branches part and I am free! (She runs off)

Svana: Branches part and I let one go… and poor totes is always behind me, he has one tough nose

Toats: BAHHHH

Another Argonian writhing in pain: Whats wrong? You smell my farts too?

Damnation

Guacamole: I will have a hero’s end.

Rourke: I have a hero’s end, but what comes out of it is pretty villainous.